An ordinary conversation with my grandmother on the phone. After a series of random everyday-life questions, followed by a moment of silence, here is what she eventually says:
– I wish it’ll all come out right in the end…
– What do you mean?
– You know, that you will have a stable job, a steady man…
– Grandma, I am afraid I cannot agree with your definition of ‘’right’’. To me, stable should be replaced with interesting & enjoyable, and steady with good & faithful.
Naturally one doesn’t exclude the others. It all depends on what kind of person you are and what life you wish to live. Apparently my priorities wanted me to say that. So I did.
That was actually already a small success, as I would have normally got outraged and terribly offended. This time, I tried to recognise and understand our distinct views stemming from a huge generation gap that made us grow up in two totally different worlds.
And yet, I know that her intentions were and always are good. Within her education and experience, that’s what matters most: stable and steady, just as a guarantee of happiness, two magic key words that will make you fulfilled. I would never be capable of changing her beliefs, nonetheless I have learnt to duly appreciate and respect them.
I saved myself some nerves, and remorses for very likely sleepless nights my grandma would have probably go through knowing that she has unintentionally hurt my feelings.
A win-win situation, isn’t it?
Tip: don’t try to understand other people’s beliefs – learn to respect them.